The Mount

I know this is long, but it's great--Quentin wrote this for yesterday's worship, part of our Sermon on the Mount series:

MAN: I get up early to go fishing

READER:  “Fishing?  You don’t go fishing.” 

WRITER: I didn’t go fishing, he went fishing.  It has to be something.  What did I get up early for then? 

READER: “I don’t know why you ever get up early, you just always do.” 

WRITER: Oh, sure, that’s a great way to get the story started: I got up early, ‘cause, well, I don’t know why, I just always do – what’s that emblematic of? And how’s that going to get me to the stream? 

READER: “The stream?” 

WRITER: Yeah, I need to get to the stream almost immediately, I think I need that image to set this up. 

READER: “Well, then, maybe you got up early to go,… fishing?  I’m not getting up early to go fishing though.” 

WRITER: In that case, maybe there’s a chance for a moment of quiet contemplation, so…

MAN: I got up early to go fishing.  I’d gotten everything out and ready the night before, and I had a picture in my head of where I’d go, but that was as far as my plans went.  The stream is not that far of a walk, it’s just over a hill.  I don’t even know if it has a name, but it’s about like every stream you think of.  Its bed is wide – it’s been running here for a long time.  Tall old shade trees shelter the wide spot here, and there’s a rock made just right for sitting, placed as if according to a plan.  The stream widens and gets quiet here in the hollow.  The sounds of my footfalls and the shifting of the stepping stones echoes among the trees, and for a moment I get the sensation that I’m following myself.  Walking along the edge of the embankment trying to get to the sitting place, the sandbar shifts under me and I make a misstep, soaking my foot in the stream.

READER: “This part drags on too long.” 

WRITER: What do you mean? 

READER: “I mean this ‘quiet contemplation’; it’s too solitary, too overwrought, plus I never like the prolonged inner monologue.” 

WRITER: Hah!  You’re just pushing for her to show up. 

READER: “She always makes it more interesting – maybe he was being watched instead of followed.” 

WRITER: You mean they’re always more interesting together, ‘art imitates’ and all that. 

READER: “Yeah,… or that.” 

WRITER: Okay,… here you go…

MAN: There’s a splish, could be a fish

READER: “You’re a poet, and you don’t know it.” 

WRITER: Shhh!!

MAN:  Look for the ripples, try to figure out where they come from.  Another splash,… and another.  What’s that fish doing all over the place? 

READER: “The fish?  What are you thinking?  Look up.”

WOMAN:  “What do I have to do?  Hit you in the head with one of these pebbles?”  

MAN: I thought it was the fish I was trying to catch. 

WOMAN: “Oh, sorry, if it’s only fish for you, I won’t interrupt.” 

MAN: No wait, I can get back to the fish later.  What brings you here? 

WOMAN: “Feet.  I’m taking a walk, you wanna come along?”  

MAN: Where? 

WOMAN: “Wherever I’m led,  does it make a difference to you?” 

READER: “See, that’s why it’s better when she shows up – you’re not stuck in one place just thinking about it.”

WRITER:  She doesn’t think about it, is that what you’re saying? 

READER: “No, she doesn’t just think about it.” 

WRITER: Ahh…

MAN: I’d be glad to go wherever you’re going. 

WOMAN: “Since when are you a fisherman?” 

MAN: Um,… trying something new? 

WOMAN: “Interesting.  Nice day.” 

MAN; For?... nice day for? 

WOMAN: “I’m not sure exactly, just that it has promise.” 

MAN; Like the company. 

WOMAN: “Agreed.”

MAN: The path runs along the stream for a while, then rises away out of the woods to the edge of a large clearing.  We’re not the only ones arriving at the clearing.  From all sides, people are happening to gather on it, filling it.  They’re arriving from work in the fields, from home with their children, out of the town, making a detour from their travel.  All taking a seat at the foot of the rise. 

WOMAN: “Let’s go up and find a place to sit.” 

MAN: Uhh, group activity is not my favorite. 

READER: “We should talk about that sometime.” 

WRITER: Talk about what? 

READER: “Wow.  You get defensive about it fast.  What is it about groups?” 

WRITER: Almost nothing can be as de-personalizing as groups – like each person’s assumptions and prejudice takes a little away until there’s nothing left of me to act.

READER: “I still see you in groups a lot,… I’ve seen you light up in a group…” 

WRITER: Well, if it’s a group that takes me as I am, let’s me be myself, that’s when I can give myself away.  When it comes from inside me, it’s uplifting; when it’s imposed from the outside, it’s disheartening. 

READER: “What about me?  Do I free you?” 

WRITER: Don’t you see how I light up?

WOMAN: “Hey, isn’t that Dawson?” 

MAN: Yeah, that’s him.  Let’s not sit over there. 

WOMAN: “Oh, right, still controversy about the fence.” 

MAN: Yeah, that was a disappointment, especially after all that time he strung it along. 

WOMAN: “So we’re going to sit way back here?  Even in this large of a crowd?” 

MAN: We can try to move up, but it’s already crowded up close, we’re going to have to make do with sitting towards the back.  We find a small rise that works as a bench to sit on.  One of the girls from Capernaum recognizes you and runs up to you to show you her dog.  She’s just about to tell you something when everyone’s attention is drawn up.

MAN: When He begins to speak, even though He seems to be far away, I can hear him as clear as if He were close at hand.  His voice is compelling, and the crowd goes silent with attention.  I lean my head in my hand and focus.  There’s no irony in his voice as he proclaims favor and satisfaction on those usually afforded only shame.  I struggle with trying to feel the triumph in the feelings I associate with defeat in the world.  Humbled, mourning, unambitious, these are not the qualities of the world’s heroes.  These are feelings I try to hide, bluff my way past, or deny.  

READER: “But, you also felt the nearness of God at those moments?” 

WRITER: In the best of them, when my denial didn’t run that far, when my frustration didn’t drive me further into my self. 

READER: “Even then, wasn’t that evidence of your ‘thirst for righteousness’?” 

WRITER: Wait, that’s next.

MAN: You glance back over your shoulder at me as He continues, and whisper back the lawgiver’s words from the edge of the wilderness,

WOMAN: “‘for the LORD your God proveth you, to know whether ye love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul.’” 

MAN: And it’s true that difficult times do drive me to seek the right way more directly and more critically, to reevaluate my heart and soul, struggle to find where I am empty, trust in the anonymous psalmist’s promise that ‘He satisfieth the longing soul, and filleth the hungry soul with goodness.’ 

READER: “That seems pretty sincere.” 

WRITER: It’s good to have it recognized – too much I get suspicion and doubt. 

READER: “You really don’t like getting underestimated.  Maybe you could use a little more meekness?” 

WRITER: Maybe I should speak better with my actions.  I’m too good at overlooking controversy, more concerned with eliminating the argument than eliminating the cause of it, content to be right and stopping short of struggling to make it right.

MAN:  At the end of His opening, I bring my hands down in front of me, and count off on the fingers.  Left thumb, left index, left ring, left pinky, right pinky, maybe right thumb?  Looks like at my best moments I’m only meeting a single handful.  Think what I could do if I ever used both hands. 

WRITER: I didn’t want to leave this point without mentioning how I’ve always like the way you look wearing your pearls. 

READER: “Then for the next section, I should be sure to tell you how your light can dispel the darkness.” 

WRITER: And that sparkle in your eye, is that the salt of your tears? 

READER: “Perhaps, they’re both there, and both indicate my heart’s true purposes.” 

WRITER: Oh, that’s good, and right on time, they have to struggle with that right now…

MAN: He’s speaking to us now about the law, but in a new way.  It is not meant as a limitation on our behavior, but as a guide for our hearts.  Not to restrict our actions, but to expand our compassion.  Not to make ourselves better actors, but to let God work on our hearts.  The fence comes immediately back to mind when He speaks of reconciliation.  I have to face that I made the mistake of assuming I was in the right just because I did nothing wrong outwardly.  Inwardly, I’m still angry, and still feel like something is owed me, that I was justified in my hard feelings.  I’ve got a lot of work to do.  I’ve been looking outside for affirmation, worried about not getting caught tripping up, worried about keeping up appearances under the eye of the in crowd.  I need to look inward more, open myself up to possibility rather than trying to manage every threat. 

READER: “What’re you going to do about verses 27-30?” 

WRITER: I don’t know.  Accept my guilt and my limitations?  Offer it up and trust that there’s a plan for me?  Try to end up a better man?  Accept that it may make me among the least in the kingdom of heaven, but knowing even the least still gets to participate in the kingdom.

MAN:  In a moment, I grasp the full meaning of David’s words, ‘I desire to do your will O my God, your law is within my heart.’

READER: “We’re back talking about what’s ‘underneath’.”

WRITER: Yeah, and I think that’s a part of what’s meant in having a pure heart – eliminating deception, even self-deception, maybe especially self-deception:  to reject your own rationalizations and excuses and to allow yourself the freedom to be inspired, to act honestly.

READER: “To let your underneath come to the surface.”

WRITER: Yeah, or to let go of the false dichotomy of surface and underneath, to let the two be one.

WOMAN: “Could we get back to the story?   I haven’t had anything to do but react for almost a whole page.”

WRITER: Does she remind you of anyone?

WOMAN:  “Our Father in heaven, may your name be kept holy.  May your Kingdom come soon.  May your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.  Give us today our sustenance, and forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us.  And don’t let us yield to temptation, but deliver us from evil.”

MAN: Amen.

WOMAN: “It’s all in there.  We should be sure to include all those pieces in our prayer.”

MAN: And again, it is also a guide for our actions.  But how?  How can I be sure that what I do today will prepare me for tomorrow?

WOMAN: “As He says, ‘Today’s trouble is enough for today.’  Focus on your steps, the path is there already.  The right way is always in front of us, we only have to choose to follow it.”

MAN: And the consequences for taking the wrong path are already included in that choice.  I should be more careful in allowing myself to forgive as freely as I accept forgiveness.

READER: “I wasn’t aware that you even accept forgiveness that freely.”

WRITER: I do want there to be consequences, which means there have to be some even for me.  And I don’t want to move on from anything until I’ve given myself a chance to learn from it.  The second lesson has a tendency to be stricter than the first.

MAN: By now, I should have learned to allow enough room for others to make mistakes, to hold people responsible while still maintaining a relationship.

WOMAN: “For some things, that seems humanly impossible.”

MAN: Which is why we should entrust justice to the heart and hand of God.

WRITER: But even still, how do I look to find His justice, His peace?  How do I find my way?

READER: “Go back to the story, I think it comes up next.”

MAN: Then He promised, ‘Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you,’ and I realized I was not separated in any true way from God, that any separation came from me.

When He finished speaking, we sat still and quiet.  Everything felt different, for we had been changed for having been given the chance to share in the truth directly.  It never occurred to anyone to applaud or cheer, in the same way it never occurs when you see the sun rise, or the full moon appear from behind a curtain of clouds.

WOMAN:  “I’m glad our walk brought us here.”

MAN: Thank you for inviting me along.

WOMAN: “Shall we head home?”

MAN: Give me just a minute.  I wonder if I can still find…

WOMAN: “Dawson? He’s heading out just over there.”

MAN: I’ll be right back.

WOMAN: “What did you say?”

MAN: I just told him it was good to see him today.  Shook his hand.

WOMAN: “Did he say anything about the fence?”

MAN: No, but it wasn’t important anymore.

READER: “Isn’t it?  I thought that was a big deal.  He kind of used you, and he didn’t have anything to say about it?”

WRITER: Nope.  It’s cool, I just wanted to say hey all the same.

READER: “You haven’t got anything else written.  How’s the rest of it go?”

WRITER:  Well, the two of them head back to the stream, sit on the rock, talk about what they might seek, what they might ask for.  Maybe he even tells her a story.

READER:  “I’d like to hear that one too.”

 

songwriting as worship

Thoughts from Convergence collaborator Dick Rose, who led us through a group songwriting exercise from the Sermon on the Mount:

I write narrative music. Maybe because it’s what we’re suited to do, some of us use this form to interpret and express our convictions about the divine life. The church community may not approve or understand what we are doing, but historically, the community has been changed by its heretics and artists, who often provide the kinds of reinterpretations and expressions that the community requires to grow and flourish. It seems to me that this is what Convergence is about, by the way.

My own work has always been less about entertainment than meditation, or sustained attention and creative engagement with certain religious themes. Such work can be valuable, even if it goes no further than rehearsals—like the kind of worship, or rehearsal, that we will do tonight.

As a matter of fact, I believe that rehearsals are valuable in their own right. A rehearsal is a collaborative act of sustained attention, like worship itself. I am currently planning come recording sessions to take place here, with the intention that the rehearsals should be open to audiences so that they can appreciate this. 

Audiences to rehearsals become collaborators with the performers. As in worship, they are moved to respond in some way, to give help, to make something on their own, to give back in some way. . .

You can learn more about Dick at his website.

artists as outsiders

When I was a kid, I wanted to be an actor. Not because I particularly enjoyed acting (although I did later when I actually tried it), but because I wanted to be famous. I wanted to have people know who I was.

I imagine that the desire for celebrity drives many in show business. But for Danish actress Connie Nielsen (Gladiator, Law and Order SVU), acting is about something different. For her, being an actor means being an outsider. 

"As an artist you actually do have to make a choice to be an outsider. If you're an outsider you have the freedom to say what people on the inside don't dare to say," she told CNN.

I think this speaks to what we are doing at Convergence. We are constantly asking questions, taking risks, seeking to truly know and experience God as intimately and authentically as possible. If God has particular interest and desire to connect with outsiders (and I believe God does), then this fits right in with our vision. 

Convergence exists to support and resource and build community with artists. We realize in doing this, we look very different than most churches. We don't try to be different just for the sake of being different, or to be cool; we just strive to do whatever it takes to connect with this group of "outsiders"--the artists and art lovers in our community.

How much of what we call church are we willing to let go of to actually be the church?

forgiveness

We're doing a communion series--each month we talk about a different aspect of communion. Yesterday was about forgiveness; here are some thoughts:

We often talk about what we need to do in approaching communion--we need to confess our sin, we need to make our relationships right, we need to examine our hearts...all of these are good things, but I think they can cause us to put the emphasis on us, not God, when we approach the communion table.

We focus on what we need to do, instead of what Jesus did for us. The point becomes getting right with God, rather than accepting and living in God's love and faithfulness and grace.

We do come to the table as sinners in need of grace. But that grace comes not because of anything we do, but because of what Jesus did.

Jesus ate with sinners. He didn't tell them to get their lives together before inviting them. He confronted sin with compassion and mercy, not judgement.

I think we often fall into this trap of "grace, but..." thinking "yes, God forgives, but I'm supposed to..." Now I know God does call us to respond to His grace and follow his example of love. Following Him does bring challenges. But if we can't talk about His grace without talking about our responsibility, then I fear we miss the full impact of that grace.

Each celebration of the Lord's Supper is a fresh experience of the Gospel; for at the table, our host, the Lord Jesus Christ, meets us with compassion and open arms.

While they were eating, Jesus took break, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and gave it to his disciples, saying, "Take and eat; this is my body."

Then he took the cup, and when he had given thanks, he gave it to them, saying, "Drink from it, all of you. This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins."

                        --Matthew 26:26-28

Jesus as Healer

Sunday we talked about Jesus as Healer. We looked at several passages in the Gospel of Mark (1:21-45, 2:1-12, 3:1-6, 5:1-43, 7:31-37, 8:22-26, 9:14-29, 10:46-52). It was really neat to see how healing was so prominent throughout the book.

here are some thoughts from the evening...

for Jesus, healing wasn't always about the condition healed, but more about restoring the person healed to fellowship with God and with others, by forgiving sin and making them pure and acceptable again. Jesus often tied together physical healing and spiritual healing.

In Jewish culture, it was often believed that serious illnesses or infirmities were punishment or judgement; so the sick often deserved it. There wasn't a huge desire to see people healed or restored. As usual, Jesus went against the flow.

Many Christians, churches, and even denominations emphasize healing today, and teach that Jesus' power to heal has been passed down directly to us; that if we have enough faith, any illness can and will be healed.

My concern is that this idea makes it about and for us, rather than God and the other. I believe that God can heal, anytime, but not necessarily that He will. I believe God heals, just not on demand. 

I'm sure most of us have known very Godly, faithful people who prayed for healing for themselves or others. Sometimes we see miraculous recoveries, but more often we don't. I think the healing God offers happens in various ways at various times.

The healing stories in the Gospels reflect Jesus' intimate, powerful relationship with God, as well as his great compassion. He often healed with words, touch, and physical means.

In healing, Jesus demonstrates the Kingdom of God, one of his main themes. Healing is not just about the individual healing, not just about physical healing…it's about revealing the heart and nature of God…

So I think an application for today is not that if you have enough faith you will be healed. Rather, I think Jesus shows us that healing goes beyond the physical, beyond the here and now. It's a symbol, an example, of the Kingdom of God. The Kingdom is possible now in part, and eventually in full. In the same way healing often often happens now in part, but ultimately it will happen in full.

Does God heal? Yes, but not always in the way I want or expect. I pray for healing, and that prayer helps connect me to God—to be open to how He is working. It also connects me to the one for whom I am praying.

Finally, I think we see in Jesus' healings an example of how God invites us to partner with Him. Jesus is showing us not just what He wants to do for us, but what he wants us to do for him. He wants us to follow his example and be his healing agent in our world.

For us, here and now, healing is not just about God removing our illnesses or infirmities; rather, it’s about God making us more whole, more like Him, more His, both in this life and in the life to come.

How does your relationship with God enable you to be a compassionate, healing presence for people today?

Donald Miller Prayer

Here is the text from Donald Miller's prayer at the Democratic National Convention a couple days ago (disclaimer: Convergence is not endorsing a particular candidate or party; we just like the prayer :-) )

"Father God,

This week, as the world looks on, help the leaders in this room create a civil dialogue about our future.

We need you, God, as individuals and also as a nation.

We need you to protect us from our enemies, but also from ourselves, because we are easily tempted toward apathy.

Give us a passion to advance opportunities for the least of these, for widows and orphans, for single moms and children whose fathers have left.

Give us the eyes to see them, and the ears to hear them, and hands willing to serve them.

Help us serve people, not just causes. And stand up to specific injustices rather than vague notions.

Give those in this room who have power, along with those who will meet next week, the courage to work together to finally provide health care to those who don’t have any, and a living wage so families can thrive rather than struggle.

Hep us figure out how to pay teachers what they deserve and give children an equal opportunity to get a college education.

Help us figure out the balance between economic opportunity and corporate gluttony.

We have tried to solve these problems ourselves but they are still there. We need your help.

Father, will you restore our moral standing in the world.

A lot of people don’t like us but that’s because they don’t know the heart of the average American.

Will you give us favor and forgiveness, along with our allies around the world.

Help us be an example of humility and strength once again.

Lastly, father, unify us.

Even in our diversity help us see how much we have in common.

And unify us not just in our ideas and in our sentiments—but in our actions, as we look around and figure out something we can do to help create an America even greater than the one we have come to cherish.

God we know that you are good.

Thank you for blessing us in so many ways as Americans.

I make these requests in the name of your son, Jesus, who gave his own life against the forces of injustice.

Let Him be our example.

Amen."

You can go to Donald Miller's website to see a video of the prayer.

prayer and creating

last Sunday we watched the Nooma video "Open," about prayer, then had some discussion. It was great. Here are some quotes and questions from the evening; The quotes are taken from Rob Bell's talk in the video. I might throw in some commentary.

Jesus took very seriously the creation poem, Genesis, that the Bible begins with. And in this creation poem God creates. But God creates things that are capable of creating more. God creates animals and plants and fish, but then empowers them to create more. And then, God creates people and gives them the ability to create more. So everything in creation is essentially unfinished. God leaves the world unfinished and invites people to take part in the ongoing creation of the world.

wow. I love this thought...it really echoes what we have been saying at Convergence--that as people made in God's image, we are created to create! We live out one of our primary purposes when we create. That's what art is all about!

God can handle what you're thinking.

God can handle how you're feeling.

God can handle what you're saying.

Prayer, if it's anything, is truth.

It's being honest with your maker.

Sometimes it seems (in church culture) that we get hung up on doing and saying the right things. We use a special language when we talk about and to God. I have some dear friends that always use "thou" and "thy" and "thee" when praying. It sounds nice, but it seems so distant or disconnected to me.

The times I feel closest to God are the times when I just let loose and get completely open and honest and real; pouring out all my junk and ugliness and honesty.

God's desire is that the divine energy that made the world would flow between us and in the process draw us closer together. Prayer is tapping in to the same energy that formed the universe. that's why people say that they can feel prayer. it's because we can. Praying connects us to the people and things we're praying for. Prayer enlarges our perspective. Praying gives us a bigger heart. Praying makes us feel things. Praying changes things but prayer changes us.

May your whole life be a prayer. And may you be honest with God as you become more and more open to your role in the ongoing creation of the world.

Speaking of ongoing creation, congratulations to Steve and Heather who are partnering with God in creating a new life, and a new addition to the Convergence family!

How I Spent My Summer “Vacation”

I feel like so much has been said already about my artist residency, that I'm tempted to stay quiet. But I did say that reflection is a key part of the artist's involvement in worship. As a member of the Convergence community, I feel both honored and obligated to reflect on the opportunity you all provided me.

As an artist in residence, I had a dual task: participate in a community project to benefit the life of the church, and use the dedicated "time off" to work on my own projects that have been hounding me. I began the summer with ambitious plans for my work at the church and my personal work. For the church I was going to do a space use plan, lecture and discussion series, and conceptual design for the sanctuary. For myself, I was going to attend a conference, write at least three papers and take at least two architecture licensing exams. And I was going to relax, get fit, go tubing, visit friends, and maybe brush up on my salsa skills. If I had written this down as I am now, I would have seen how impossible that list was for less than two months. (I'm just now recognizing it's too ambitious for a whole summer too!)

I began with the space use plan, which made recommendations about the use of rooms in the Potts Building (the Lab) and the main building. I wrote a nice little document only to realize at the end of the summer that it never got sent from my outbox. Fortunately, the process was a collaborative one and Lisa and Todd knew what my recommendations were and articulated this to the advisory team and others who were trying to figure out building use. As part of this project, I tried to learn new computer drawing skills. As a result, I have unfinished drawings that are now at the top of my short to-do list. So, alas, my work is not yet done. As for that conceptual design… Maybe in the winter or spring. J

The work I did finish was the lecture and discussion series for the Fueling Creative Convergence Project. It was incredibly exciting to put a great deal of my academic work to use in service of the church. The lectures affirmed to me the importance of theology within the local church and reignited my sense of humility and excitement at being equipped and able to do that task. The discussions stirred my soul. I was exhausted by them, but encouraged and inspired. As I continue to do my work, I will take your insights and stories with me. I will represent the struggles of artists in the church to the best of my abilities, knowing that they are not abstract ideas, but the lives many of you lead.

On a personal level, the summer was incredibly transformative. Soon after I arrived, I was struck with a professional identity crisis, wondering what if anything I can do as a job or career to support myself before I finish school. I attended the Americans for the Arts convention and found that there was real interest in how I connect art, design, and theology. I learned to speak about what I do in a non-church, non-academic context. This is quite an accomplishment, since I was afraid my church life and academic life were too disconnected from the world beyond its borders to have any practical relevance. I found out I was wrong. And I was reminded that there are Christians and those who are sympathetic to Christians in the arts management world. The convention provided me with lots of information about civic engagement through the arts, and it also gave me a chance to do some career development and networking. I came away with the idea that I CAN start a consulting business merging theology and design, and the experience was supplemented by the boot camp and coaching I did with Marga at the Entrepreneurship Academy for Artists.

I also wrote this summer. A lot. A flurry of activity previously reserved for the end of semesters only. I wrote papers, mini-memoirs, journal entries, personal statements, reading notes and cards to friends. I ventured into the world of blogging and found out it's not so bad.

The most transformative aspect of this summer, the part buried after all this other stuff, is that I rediscovered the beauty of relationship with God through Jesus. When I got to consider again the experience of baptism on my last Sunday with you all, I was overcome with emotion as saw the metaphor in new, profound ways. I rediscovered the meaning of blessing, seeing that I have been given not only grace and relationship with the God of the universe, but a spiritual legacy, a calling, and a fellowship with others that is indescribable in its sweetness.

After spending time in worship at Convergence and my previous church in Silver Spring, I am inspired to find a worshipping community near my California home. I confess that for the previous year, I had focused on the energy spent, the time required to be a vital part of a church, but I forgot about the joy that comes from connecting with others who share the bonds of fellowship in Christ. God worked through you all to remind me of that. After talking so much about the artist as prophet, I have a real desire to read again about the prophets in the Bible. From getting to know better people like Jay and Shae and Amy and Amanda who rely on their faith in real ways to enrich their lives and their art, I am learning to be open about the ways I can do the same. I've left this artist residency as a much more prayerful person. Lisa taught me how to confess to the God that forgives and the friends who support. Spending time with Lisa, Rita, Susan, Joanne and Pam reminded me how important real friendships are in times of chaos and confusion.

For all your prayers, kind words, and encouragement, I thank you all. I thank you especially for the part you had in helping me finish work I was too blocked to end and in helping me begin work I was too trepidations to approach. Convergence privileged me with the task of shaping a place which reflects our local church community and culture and also gave me a time and place to write.

The Beatitudes

This past Sunday we looked at the Beatitudes, which serve as a sort of introduction to Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount. The sermon reflects the heart of Jesus’ teaching—the thoughts and ideas and actions He was most concerned with.

We talked about reading this passage from three perspectives:

1. Those who heard Jesus’ messages directly—his disciples, and others who followed him and listened to his teaching. While Jesus connected with all kinds of people, the Gospel accounts make it clear that he sought out the marginalized, the oppressed, the poor, the persecuted. Jesus had a special compassion for outsiders. Much of the Sermon on the Mount, including the Beatitudes, seems to be directed at these people.

2. The people in our world today who are most like the people in Jesus’ original audience. While we (the western church) usually read the Bible as if it were written directly with us in mind, the truth is many of Jesus’ words communicate more clearly and better retain their original meaning among those who are marginalized in our time. While each of us suffer in ways, few of us in the west can understand the level of suffering that millions in our world live with.

Thousands of people, many children, die daily of malnutrition. Millions have AIDS, children are orphaned, millions don’t have any medical care…there is incredible suffering and mourning and injustice in our world, and very little of it actually impacts us.

3. We talked about what the sermon says to us. How are we to receive Jesus’ promises for blessing?

One point I made was that Jesus is not just promising to bless us, but he is asking us to use our wealth and power and ability to be a blessing to others. God has chosen to use His Church to bring blessing to a hurting world.

We need to be careful to not just read the Bible to see how God wants to bless us, but for how He wants us to join Him in blessing others.

At Convergence, our calling to bless others is lived out by supporting artists—being friends, listening, encouraging, buying art, attending shows and concerts and readings, exploring our own creativity so we can learn and connect with God and each other.

I also hope that we will begin to look for ways to use art and creativity to help those in our world who suffer far more than we do.

prayer for community

Here is the first part of a reading Amanda Vogel shared in worship tonight:

After growing up in a small college town surrounded by both our immediate families and a church that had seen us go from youth group members to youth group leaders, Abe and I graduated college, got married, and began our life as “adults.”  Two years ago, Abe accepted a job with Clark Construction and I decided to stop teaching 9^th graders to read and write and instead, pursue my own dream of reading and writing.  I was accepted that fall into American University’s MFA for Creative Writing program and we both started settling into our new life.

I’d always loved the start of a new school year—since the age of 5, my years had run from September-August rather than January to December.  I met a lot of new people and did a lot of reading and writing my first semester at graduate school.  For the most part, everyone was nice and we had many things in common, the greatest of which was our artist identities. I expected deep conversations about art and life, sitting around people’s living rooms with a glass of red wine in hand, waxing poetic.  But somehow, there was no depth in these friendships.  We talked about thinking and books occasionally, but mostly, it was parties and going out and gossiping.  In workshops, I read crazy stories where people did crazy things I’d never imagined doing or writing about.  I had to respect the content and look at the language and story.  When I tried to weave ideas about faith into my own stories, I didn’t get the same respect.  People even had the audacity to suggest getting rid of those ideas altogether. I felt like no one knew me and worse still, that if they did really know me, especially the Christian side of me, they wouldn’t actually like me.

At this point, we hadn’t started going to church in Virginia.  It was hard to replicate our church home and every church we tried seemed to be a one note demographic of thirty or forty-somethings with small children.  Not that there’s anything wrong with that, it’s just not us.  We had also left our Pennsylvania church feeling a little defeated and used.  We weren’t too anxious to find more “stuff” to fill up our time.  And it was nice, having leisurely Sunday mornings with our puppies and some Starbuck’s.

I was tired and longing for connection.  I decided that I’d be more honest, open, and vulnerable with my friends at school, and share who I really am, in hopes of getting the same response.  I assumed other people were feeling the same disconnect that I was feeling.

But I was wrong.  I don’t want to judge these people, many of whom I still consider friends—it’s just that they were satisfied with what was there on the surface, relationships built on gossip and drinking and classes we had in common.  They’d never experienced authentic community.  To them, this was authentic, but to me, it was not.

Long story short, by the end of last year, I had hit rock bottom as far as relationships go.  My two closest friends stopped talking to me without reason and now, only talked to each other.  When I got up the guts to ask if something was wrong, willing to admit even to faults I hadn’t known I committed, I wasn’t given an answer.  I was hurt beyond words and wanted to drop out of my program. One semester left, but I wasn’t sure I would be able to deal with any more.

I didn’t say the words aloud, a prayer for community and wholeness and renewed faith in God and people—it was clearly a situation where the Spirit interceded with groans words could not express.  Because it was around this time that we received a post card in the mail for a block party being thrown by a little place called Convergence.  (You might have heard of it.)  All it took was seeing the words creative, community, and faith in the same place.  I knew it was a specific answer from God, a flashing sign that said, “Go. Here.”

So we met awesome people at the block party and more awesome people at the Sunday service.  I signed up for an Artist’s Way group and met even more awesome people and also started really believing that my identity as a writer and a Christian could coincide.  When Convergence advertised a writing space for rent, I jumped at the opportunity, and soon had a room of my own.  The past three weeks, I participated in the discussions and dinners led by Elise and learned so much and yes, got to know even more awesome people.  I am so thankful for Convergence.  It’s a community that makes me feel right at home, while also challenging me to step out of my comfort zones and do things I would normally be terrified of…like speaking at a service.

Tonight, because we are sharing communion together, I wanted to share a little piece of writing I’ve been working on.  I’m interested in spiritual memoir and have been writing a lot lately about my experiences of church and faith and how they’ve shaped me, from childhood until now.

What role should a Christian artist play in the world?

These thoughts come from Jay Smith, Convergence member out of the discussion series this month. Jay is in the band Middle Distance Runner.

A question that I face often in conversations with people is: "What role should a Christian artist play in the "secular" world?" This is something that I have pondered for years and have faced everyday as a musician and a Christian.

The question always seems to revolve around the fact that artists are expected to communicate something they consider important. If you are a Christian then you must present the gospel, or put people on the road to knowing God, because that should be the most important thing in your life. This may work fine in some Christian circles, but for me the problem starts here: The expressions of the artist are about all of life, not just one part. For an artist to be forced to focus on one topic forever would be creative suicide. God made us full of emotions and the life that we face every day is complex. To me, expressing these complexities in life, gives a fuller picture of what God has made and how we interact with our circumstances as his followers and as humans. This makes art a lot more relevant as it speaks to things that we all identify with on very deep and common levels.

This also makes things more approachable to people that don't share our beliefs. If we are speaking someone's language, and they see that we "get it", then we are more likely to start a conversation with that person that is based in respect.
But how do we interact with the secular world as an artist? How do we play out our mission? I say, relationally, and a lot changes when you think of things relationally. Relational evangelism is about friendships and close relations. Sound bites and big events aren't as effective with relational evangelism because they are impersonal. Relational evangelism is also more dangerous. People will actually get to know us! We will actually be held accountable for what we are like on a personal level rather than putting on a show and disappearing do some dressing room without really talking to people. Relational evangelism for an artist may not be to the viewer, listener or "customer" so much, but more to the other artists, the gallery owners, the stage managers, directors, producers etc. This is different. We can make art that is true to us and have more intimate relationships with people as Christians.

I really think that part of the problem that many Christians have with this idea is that; sadly, they really don't have a strong foundation as a Christian, or in a Christian community or with close Christian friends. You have to have the backbone to go out there on your own and be stable in a group of people that may believe much differently than you. For me, I don't see being in a secular band any differently than working for AOL, Wal Mart or Budweiser. We all work with people at our jobs that don't share our exact values, and if we aren't strong then we will suffer as people regardless of anything we believe in.

Thinking about it from that perspective, I don't see the music I make as a ministry any more than I see the graphic design I do at my day job as ministry. My ministry as a musician is in loving my peers just like it is here at work. I think that if I got all wrapped up in our music not stating obvious Christian messages and decided to leave the culture, then I would really miss out on some major opportunities to have some very great conversations. More importantly, I would be contributing to the separation of the church from our culture, which I believe is a huge problem right now.

I think the trick is to really understand who you are and that, as an artist, you are in a special place therefore you have a special purpose and responsibility. I have worked hard to become a very integrated part of the DC music scene. Being in a respected band gives me a voice in our music community to help with causes or to help the community grow. Not too many people would question my sincerity and passion for the DC music scene or my place in it. At the same time they wouldn't question my faith either because I am honest about it without being pushy or trying to sell it.

I just say this stuff just to illustrate that we should not be victims of our environments but that we should take ownership over them. To have Christians involved in artistic communities is kind of rare. For people to see that we as Christians care as much, if not more than they do about these communities speaks to our convictions as a Christians as well as our passions for these arts. Once respectful conversations are had with us, then they will see that our passions are inseparable from our faith, and that gives glory to God, and, maybe more importantly, be a reminder to the world of God's relevance again.
Jay

Prayer of Assurance

Prayer of Assurance
by Amanda Vogel
after Isaiah 61

Good news:
He has come to
bind up your broken hearts
proclaim freedom from your captives
release you from prisons of darkness

There is hope in the aftermath:
On your head, a crown of beauty will replace ashes.
On your feet, the oil of gladness will replace mourning.
On your body, a garment of praise will replace despair.

Now:
You are great oaks of righteousness,
rising up from strong roots.
You will rebuild out of the ancient ruins of your past.
You will repair the long-destroyed relationships in your cities.

Scarlet to white.
Crimson to wool.
Captive to free.
Broken to whole.