Philosophy of who we are and what we are doing

In the past few months I've had the humbling experience of seeing that the ideas and visions swirling in my head for the last 15 (more?) years are not unique. Others who have been reading the signs of culture have put the pieces together in a similar way and are acting on and writing about these things in large and small ways all over the world. I can only describe this as awe - some. The sense of being a part of something so much larger than myself or even our little community is electrifying. The responsibility to share that inspiration with the others invested in Convergence and the new people we meet everyday has become a priority and so it is time for all the research, conversations, conferences, etc. to become a coherent philosophy of who we are and what we are doing.

Over the last two years we have asked the question: How do we fulfill our mission of being a resource to artists? And we have heard consistently four things. I'm going to borrow from my friend and writer Quentin Paquette as he and his fiance Cecily (visual artist) have summed it up beautifully.

The idea of an "emerging artist" is one that needs sharpening. Every artist that is continuing to evolve and discover through their work is "emerging." The needs of the "emerging" artist are no different from that of any artist. They need an outlet to the community of those they see as their audience. They need guidance and reinforcement about the development of their technique. They need mentoring on methods of seeking these things on their own. They need an opportunity to discuss the relationship between their vision and their faith [spiritual life]. In these things, all artists are alike.

Hearing these needs we seek to resource the artist in the following ways:

• SPACE (safe, supportive, encouraging, laboratory, sacred, incubator)
  Convergence provides a space in which the artist can work, build their craft, create their businesses and livelihood. While classes of all sorts go on at Convergence, we do not offer classes just for the sake of offering classes. We are not building an arts school or community center. We are a resource to the person, the artist. We give them a place to "do their thing." We provide the resource of space at accessible cost in a supportive, nurturing environment within which artists and arts organizations can build and grow. Our goal is to relieve the stress (mental, physical, emotional, spiritual) by being hospitable to artists in order that they might "do their thing."
  
  
• COMMUNITY:
  The opportunity for community takes many forms at Convergence. One way is by providing opportunities to gather with other artists to exchange ideas, solutions and support; such as Artist Way groups, salons, dinners, Arts Exchange events, jam sessions, etc. It also comes in the form of creating a supportive environment of patrons and community members lending moral support and encouragement. We also create opportunities for honest engagement through scheduling public viewings, readings and interaction between the artist and the general community. Finally, Convergence is a place to contribute and be heard within a larger community where process, insight and experiences are valued.
  
  
• PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT:
  We partner with those who provide professional resources to artists at fair and reasonable cost and accessibility. Those we partner with also share our commitment to the holistic health of the artist and are vibrant contributors to the whole community. Not just someone who teaches and goes.
  
  
• SPIRITUAL (INTERNAL):
  We believe the artist's imagination and rich interior life are of great value. We as a community, country and world should do more to foster environments where this interior life is encouraged, nurtured and shared. To that end, we at Convergence are particularly committed to providing resources to maintain one's spiritual, emotional, mental and physical health as well as healing. These resources are currently available from the Church at Convergence which is made up of a group of diverse individuals committed to serving our community and world in this way.
  

The final question is why and my honest, idealistic answer is "to change the world" or at least to do our part in a much larger movement underway. We can help individual people change their lives – and that can change the world. It is already changing my world.

More to come on the why in another blog.

There's Got to Be More to Life than Just Makin' Out

“There’s got to be more to life than just makin’ out!" – Grease 2
Michelle Pfeiffer as Stephanie Zinone

Ok, my pop culture reference is kind of dated (and a little embarrassing), but she makes a good point!
Granted, Michelle Pfeiffer’s character was literally talking about making out with boys, but the principle is the same – many people (all people?) feel something deep inside tugging at us wondering: Is “making out,” getting by, making do – enough? Is there more to life than just being able to pay the bills, do a good job at work, taking care of our families, being successful, making progress? Is there some greater purpose or meaning to life?

A few weeks ago Todd and I attended the International Arts Movement Exchange in New York. I came away enthusiastic that I finally had some language to describe the things that I have been noticing for years. I am amazed sometimes that we have managed to come so far at Convergence as a community without this helpful language. I generally answer the question “so what IS Convergence?” with a series of “umm, well it’s sort like this… and sort of like that… and you know how...?”

I walked away from IAM convinced that it is time (passed time) to establish some concrete language, and I’m grateful to the brilliant people at the conference who have given me some of those tools. I am going to begin to process through some of my notes and develop that language here.

The first piece answers the basic question – “Why? Why Convergence? Why artists? Why churches? Why?

Wesley Hurd is working on a book called “He Said/They Said: The Cultural Conditions for Dialogue in the Arts.” He led a breakout session at the conference that exactly framed the rationale we’ve been operating under here at Convergence.

Hurd expressed that we have been living in a world that is experiencing the results of a deconstruction of our “mental and cultural constructs” which hold the possibility of ultimate truth. This disillusionment, due to the failure of so many of the promises of the enlightenment and the modern era (i.e. education, technical power and progress, free market, etc.) has resulted in a sense of hopelessness and relativity that is leaving us empty. However, we are (or have) moving(ed) through this to something else.

While the Church’s very message is that there is hope, meaning and truth to be had, we are not alone in this proposition. Hurd noted that, “In the Academy there is a group who have not given up on the idea that it is possible to search for Ultimate Truth.” Indeed, in essence, “art and art making is both an exploratory attempt at forming and answering deepest existential questions AND an artifact, evidence, trace, or the reality of the existential core of being human.”

So, there is this space in our current culture, in our current time, in our current world where the Church, Academy and art makers, dare I say it…☺…converge. Hurd calls this the “Critical Zone,” a “mental/spiritual space shared by both religious and non-religious persons.”

This is the beginning of our Convergence. Just acknowledging that the above is true. Saying from within our little church – “Hey there you artists and not necessarily Christian thinkers. I see that you have been exploring some interesting things like transcending the pervasive sense of hopelessness in our world, a desire for healing and reconciliation in our culture and a desire to find alternate value systems to out-of-control consumerism and environmental and social apathy. You are really effective at holding up a mirror and calling a spade a spade and recognizing trends in our world. Want to have a cup of coffee or something? I bet we might be able to learn something from one another. Maybe we even have things to contribute to one another.”

I know it isn’t a novel idea, but at this time building a bridge between two worlds that have (to greater and lesser degrees) alienated one another is a brave thing. And to be perfectly honest, the most worthwhile thing I can imagine doing. The new friends I have made over the last year are teaching me about possibility and the reality of changing the world one choice at a time, one person at a time. Some of them are artists; some are not. Some are people of a defined religious perspective; others are not. All of them have faith of some sort in something and a sense of the something else that is possible. In this “critical zone” in this “convergence” is where we’ve set up camp. It is exciting to us to be in a position to act on the observations and discoveries people like Wesley Hurd, Mako Fujimura and others involved with IAM are making. I have no idea where this is going to take us, but I’m looking forward to it.

Back from New York

It is Sunday morning and I am just starting to feel awake again. Todd and I hit New York on Thursday morning and got back late Friday night. The trip itself was great, no travel nightmares, but my head felt like it had gone to an all you can eat buffet and gorged.

I don't think I am ready to process all of the thoughts, inspiration, challenges and ideas presented at the International Arts Movement Exchange. Right now I am just incredibly grateful to Mako Fujimura and his staff, volunteers and presenters. I have never been to a conference which affirmed and challenged me in this way and I would encourage anyone who would be reading this blog for any reason to put it on your calendar for next year. I don't know what the dates are yet, but put it on the calendar anyway.

I heard so many people in hallway conversations, workshops and even the big plenary sessions saying the same thing: "I just found out about this thing earlier this week and I knew I had to come. I'm not alone! There are other people like me!"

The most exciting thing is that Todd and I came home with a list a mile long of people we want to connect with. We are in an amazing position (and unique at this point in time) to actually begin to act on the theories developing.

I'm going to stop now because I realize this is making no sense, I'm still in babbling mode. I'll give more details and thoughts in installments, but for now - wow!

Media Fast

We've been talking about listening for God's voice a lot lately in our little faith community. At the same time I am realizing that I have been struggling to hear my own creative voice for several years now. I will get creative spurts of ideas and energy and find really "productive" outlets for them. But often I get so caught up in the productive outlet that I forget the creative impulse that got me into it. Then I wonder why I feel overwhelmed or dry spiritually and creatively.

The emphasis on silence and stillness to hear God's voice has started something else for me. It is helping me find the road back to my artistic self as well. Who knew that God and the muse lived in the same neighborhood! :) - Ok, I say that to be funny, but it is really very serious. I don't think it is any accident that spiritual and creative health are linked (along with physical, mental and emotional). I've known in one part of my brain for a long time that all of these things need a great deal of time and attention but for some reason I give more credance to the part that tells me "look like a good girl; a pastor; a smart business woman - produce, produce, produce!"

Of course, there are things that need to be done. Anyone who has started from scratch will say that it takes a lot of time and energy, and I've realized I'm a person who is ok with that. I like it in fact. But, I'm starting to accept the fact that there is a price to be paid for that in energy and it demands stopping for refills.

On Monday (my day off) I took myself to skyline drive. I stopped at little places along the way I found interesting, drove slowly through the mountains and sat on a big rock looking like a goof-ball wrapped up in a red wool blanket and a funny hat and let myself be blown by the wind as I gazed at the valley below and clouds passing by. Part of the magic of this trip was the silence. I didn't listen to the radio much and when I did it was only intrumental music.

This week (chapter 4) of the artists way suggests a week long reading fast. For me, this has become a media fast. Just me, alone with my thoughts for a whole week is a scary thing! But, I keep being pushed back to something I heard somewhere about "asking the question that needs to be asked." I guess meaning the stuff that gets avoided or overlooked or excused because there is so much to distract from it. I've needed about a week of this "noise fast" to get to the point where I'm running out of nit picky things and beating myself up and laundry lists of what I should be doing in my head to get down to a real conversation with myself about "what am I really doing?";"who do I want to spend time with?" and "just where is that creative impulse these days?" and is it really as remote as I make it out to be, or am I just scared to clear away the clutter and make room for it in my life?

I have no idea where the answers will lead, I'm just excited that I'm finally getting to the questions - the ones that "need to be asked." I've decided to continue this media fast through Lent (novel idea - a time of fasting and prayer!). It is so hard for me to not turn on the tv and veg when I get home late at night or listen to talk radio, but I'm learning stuff. I don't know if I'm hearing God's voice just yet, but at least I'm starting to learn to hear my own.

The act of making art exposes a society to itself. Art brings things to light. It illuminates us. It sheds light on our lingering darkness. It casts a beam into the heart of our own darkness and says, "See?" - Julia Cameron, The Artist's Way

My Artist's Way Group Makes Me Happy

Nothing profound to say. I just got back from the third session of the Artist's Way with a new group of people and felt compelled to write out how much I love this group. I am really enjoying getting to hang out with amazingly creative people (and some who are just discovering how creative they really are.)

I learn from them every time and can already tell that even though we are all from very different backgrounds we are going to become great friends.

As fellow AWer, Jason would say "It's tight!" :)

Adventures in Re-Inventing the Wheel

Ok, I'm on fire! Two posts in one day!

I was having a conversation last week with Todd, the pastor at convergence and our friend Joey Tomassoni a local artist and church planter. We were just checking in and talking about the "right" and "wrong" way to do things and just how messy and complicated and "wrong" looking the right thing can be sometimes. Especially when you are talking about bringing together diverse groups of people to explore something like a faith tradition and their impact and relevance for us in our now.

After getting feedback throughout the month of January Todd and I have a clear understanding of some of the things we have done well and some of the things that need to be changed. But one thing started to emerge that I think is really cool. We have intentionally taken a very slow process of community development, openly welcoming the messy, the risk, failure. Of course at the same time we drive ourselves crazy trying to anticipate what the best and right thing to do will be. Sometimes two right things even conflict.

For instance - we have found ourselves on a journey of intentionally "re-inventing the wheel." The wheel is good, it works , its worked in the past, it will probably work in the future, but we want to know WHY. We want to get in there and dig around and find our rituals and worship practices and interactions with our community and beliefs about God and the Bible and the world from sources and new experiences as well as our past experiences and what everyone else may be doing. And the question of course comes - what's the point in that?

I think we are finally starting to find words to explore what the "point" is for us. We received feedback that while people really need the warm, genuine atmosphere at our faith gatherings and other events, sometimes they kind of miss a sense of formality and ritual. Also, while people love that new things happen all the time and they experience stuff in new ways, they feel the urge for a little bit of continuity and structure. Veterans at this point please refrain from the "I told you so." :) It is of course not surprising that these things are surfacing. People need all of these things which is why they have found their way into most worship services.

But we now KNOW for ourselves why they are finding their way into our worship services. When we started we determined that one of our top priorities would be to create an open welcoming environment where people could really be themselves. We encourage a diversity of opinions and perspectives. We choose to center ourselves around the commonality of coming together to learn about and know God.

We have been successful in many respects in achieving this. I think it was reflected in a recent dinner and communion service we had where communion came directly out of the meal. As we were doing it I imagined Jesus over at the other end of the table pausing the conversation and chatter and lifting his glass, almost like a toast and saying "remember this, remember me." It was powerful to me in it's simplicity and even casual nature. For a second I got this image of generations upon generations of disciples sitting around the table in fellowship in Christ's name.

But here is the exciting point. Many of us have had the experience I described above within our community. I just love being around these people! But from somewhere deep inside, an impulse is emerging in our community saying "you know, I miss a sense of ritual."

And it occurred to me, maybe this is how the worship practices of the early church developed. They met together initially "devoted to the apostles' teaching and to fellowship, to breaking of bread and to prayer."(Acts 2) And they just basically lived their lives together. But I can imagine people at some point saying "I kind of miss the temple structure though." I miss hearing the scriptures sung out and some of the festivals. There is just something about ritual that makes me feel close to God in a way that's missing from the fellowship, prayer and teaching we love. So they added it in.

And so on, and so on till the Church developed its practices. Here we are following that impulse to fulfill a need.

Now some of you (all 2 of those who actually are reading this) may still say -"what's the point?" "who needs that?" and that is where this all comes back to the conversation with Joey and Todd. I need that. Joey needs that. Many artistic people need that. Entering into the process is part of worship for us. As an actor I have participated in acting excercises where we can't speak. Even though we have our lines memorized, the play was written a hundred years ago and everyone knows what is going to happen next - we can't speak until we have the genuine need to speak. The genuine impulse. This excercise helps an actor better understand what is going on in these trustworthy lines. It helps her experience it on a deeper level, makes the enactment more believable and therefore more powerful for the other actors and the audience. You layer on these impulses and awarenesses in rehearsal so that when you go into the repetive ritual of performance it stays fresh and alive, not dead or wrote.

Joey, as a visual artist commented similarly that he has been thinking about color and really seeing and appreciating one color only when it is juxtaposed against another. Asking what this means when applied to relationships and community. We could probably go on with these kinds of process conversations for hours!

And so, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I hope this is where this blog goes. I hope this becomes a conversation with some other process oriented people about the value and meaning in these seemingly meaningless activities of "re-inventing church." Its really more like we are re-living the impulse to begin, to pray to worship. And really, if i could approach everything worshipful or of mystery and of God from a posture of newness and fresh discovery I hope it would help me actually be humble and constantly aware of what an awesome space faith occupies.

What gives anyone the right to say anything?

As I caught the end of the democratic debate in broadcast from California last week, a different debate began in my head. It started when I realized that I recognized many of the audience members as the cameras panned for reactions to the candidates remarks. I found myself wondering "what does Diane Keaton think about the proposals on Iraq and healthcare from Obama and Clinton?" and then I reprimanded myself – "who cares what she thinks? She is a celebrity!" But then the camera panned again and I saw others in the audience, who , like Keaton probably have thought pretty deeply about these issues from their perspective. The guy from the West Wing was shown cheering several times and I thought, well hey, after all those years on a political show, he’s probably pretty tuned in to Washington. It takes a lot of research to stay fresh on a series like that. But in the back of my mind I just kept thinking – how silly that "The Nanny" is being singled out for a shot of her approval of what one of the candidates said.

And this revived a debate that has been in my head for sometime. What is the role of the artist in the political conscious of a nation (or the world for that matter)? I mean, it’s not like Paris Hilton was one of the audience members last night. These were serious actors who have worked very hard and been very successful at what they do, which is not easy by a long shot. Shouldn’t they be given the chance to weigh in? Why do we groan when we hear about another of Angelina Jolie’s UN Ambassador trips yet eat up the tabloid gossip? Is Sean Penn self-important or is he just taking advantage of his opportunity to say…something?

My husband is reading a book for a poetry class about the role of poetry in society. There was another book of poetry published which voiced opposition to the war and then this book questions whether poetry should ever be written about such things. Rather, suggesting that poetry is something else entirely and should not be used in this way.

So maybe this is two questions in the debate. Should art be used to explore and express political causes? And second, what right or responsibility to artists themselves have to speak on these issues? Or celebrities (which can certainly be a different matter.) Of course, in the US they have that "right," but I mean on a social level. What role does the artist play through their art and through their personhood?

Just thinking about this

Like is Nice, Love is Unconditional

Last night I attended the Jazz at the Vespers service at Convergence and found myself settling some questions that could only have been settled there. As I sat with eyes closed allowing the music to wash over me and resonate in odd little chambers in my head and chest I realized again, that for me – this is worship. I suppose it comes down to an issue of language. Most worship experiences have a predominately word focused approach to entering into holy space. Even the music is chosen for its words or how its supports what is spoken by the officiant of the service. There is always an explanation in the native tongue of spoken word with the intent that everyone may enter in, participate, get it.

In full disclosure I will tell you that after many years of questioning and searching, a masters in theological studies and my own unshakable sense of God’s presence in the world I am a disciple of the Christ, a follower of “the Way,” a Christian, but I don't always get it. I understand it – the language of lecture and having things worked out and explained for me. Many times it is instructive and gives me lots to think about. Many times though I drift off into my own thoughts and prefer to go to the source and do the research for myself.

But, every time I sit in this jazz vespers service, I go there. My mind finally manages to clear of all the worry and thoughts of what needs to be done. The music shakes me up a bit and allows me to let go of distractions. When I need help I reflect on one of the images in the program or read a verse or quote over and over again to anchor me. And something about the combination of these things. Something about the unpredictability of the music brings me to full attention and awareness of God’s presence and the presence of others. I become convinced again of my responsibility to my fellow humans and even something so simple as “be kind” resonates clearly because I am intimately aware of God and sure that God is aware of me – of us. I’ll confess that before Convergence this rarely happened in church for me.

I say that not to condemn other churches or worship experiences, but rather to suggest that there are probably people who walk into a worship experience like the jazz vespers who don’t get that either – because it is a different language. I might not go where I go during that time if I didn’t have some understanding of jazz or art or know how to read a text slowly, savor it, break it down, for myself. I might not see the doorways into the worship experience. I might not understand that this is Christian worship. And that is ok; I’ve been where you are on many Sunday mornings in all kinds of denominational settings asking the same thing myself – How is this worship?” and Where is God really in all of this?

But, I was encouraged as a light bulb went off last night. I realized again that this very divide between languages is the impetus for this strange creature called Convergence. It is our task to build bridges, to teach each other new languages and to come together from different places and understandings and see what might happen in our world if we all got over what makes us misunderstand each other and instead trusted one another to bring who God created us to be fully into the mix.

There is so much hope for us all to get it. My training is theatre. I know next to nothing about jazz or visual art or even classical music. But, the little I have gleaned, just a few little keys into these worlds is what allows me to unlock those languages. The more I learn, the more I am rewarded by access to ways of speaking about, to, and hearing from God. I have never met an artist who didn’t love to talk about what they do and what it means to them. If you make it a habit to ask questions, pretty soon you’ll get it too.

Todd and I realize that we need to do more translating and bridge building and that will be a top priority this year. We want to be clear that the reason Convergence exists is because we believe that Christ instructs us to love all people, and to remember those not in the majority, not in power. And for us that means (among other things) a focus on the artist. But, last night I was reminded that the established church also needs to learn and be loved into understanding these languages. Just because someone doesn’t get it doesn’t mean Christ isn’t being worshiped. It may just mean that person is having an experience so many of us in the arts have experienced – a worship service that was conducted in a language other than our own. But, there are plenty of tutors around and we want to help everyone understand and speak it. In fact, your own worship experiences might be enhanced as well once you do.

Nuc includes this quote from Duke Ellington in the program for the jazz vespers: Love is supreme and unconditional; like is nice but limited. I think this is instructive for us as a church (for all churches). To like something or someone only goes as far as our preferences and our own limited understanding. But to love (especially to love as Christ loved) goes so much further and gives so much freedom. I am learning about these things from the musicians and visual artists and actors and photographers and dancers I serve and call friends. Their languages are beautiful and Oh! Does God ever speak those languages!