The Path Forward - Day 3

Compare your thoughts from yesterday to your Purpose Statement, (if you didn't create one for yourself, see the blog on Stewardship - Monday December 7 2009) and see if it elicits any further thoughts. Again, we are using our Purpose Statement to help keep us focused as we examine ourselves from different perspectives - specifically the areas of our lives where change has occurred.

Prayer: Pray that God helps confirm and direct your purpose in life.

The Path Forward - Day 2

Notice the meaning of James 1:10&11 in the context of the verses before and after. Among other things, it’s evident that the rich man is, by contrast, arrogant and lazy. When the troubles of the world come along, this content and prideful person doesn't have the tools to cope, and as a result, “fades away”. Contrast this with the humble. They persevere and live full, rewarding lives.

As we processed our own humility yesterday, there were likely some things - obstacles, whether large or small, that stood out to us. Our familiarity or comfort with them may have dulled their impact on our lives. Sometimes exploring these things can lead to deeper, unrelated issues. Take time today to process the large and small thoughts you had yesterday. Use the action of confessing these thoughts to God so he can own them with you. Follow them as deep as you can and see where they connect. We might be closed because we think we’re too talented, educated, experienced, or intelligent. We might put too much faith in our opinion of our demographic, family, habits, personality, or even style. It's worth it to see where we hold pride, and how it keeps us from forward momentum in our lives.

Prayer: Pray for motivation and wisdom to discern the thoughts that you process today.

The Path Forward - Day 1

James 1:9-11 talks about the difference between those in humble circumstances vs those who are rich. Although James alludes to a financial state he is speaking more to the spiritual state of the person. It was common of his audience to speak about the poor in reference to those in difficulty and hardship and the rich as those who are arrogant and exploitative.

As we look at our path forward through a time of change, we need to be honest about the place we currently are and the needs we must address. In order to be effective in this self assessment we need humility. If we are guarded, high-minded or unrealistic about our issues, we will not be able to see ourselves for who we really are in order to find where we need to go.

Are we willing to look past the successes and triumphs in our lives to address areas where we may harbor shame or fear? Are we willing to ask people close to us where we could improve ourselves or our relationships with them? Are we willing to sacrifice something that makes us comfortable to achieve a higher purpose? Are we willing to accept humility in order to be spiritually rich?

Deeply and prayerfully ask yourself these questions today as we prepare our spirits to look honestly at ourselves as we move forward.

Prayer: Ask God for true and honest humility in your life.

Safety - Day 12

Take today to reflect on the the week, or maybe the month, and see how your mind may have changed and grown from the beginning to now. Maybe skimming over the blogs will help you remember your journey.

Go over the change you have experienced and revisit and process the time. See if something else stands out to you this time. If you have experienced change, think about how much transformation you will experience in the future as you work on these issues. Sometimes taking some time and looking back on your growth can be an enormous encourager.

Prayer: Take this day to thank God for the work he is doing in you and the work he has planned for your future.

Safety - Day 11

Considering your thoughts from yesterday, let's start planning and placing emotional boundaries.

As we did with physical boundaries, look for the smallest and most impending emotional boundaries that you need to protect. Start easy and with situations that will be relevant soon, then use that momentum to start setting larger boundaries as you are ready.

While you are processing these things, think of your emotions as if you were given responsibility over them from your future self who is depending on you for their protection. In reality that future self is relying on you to protect them and make them a healthy, able person. You have a responsibility to work on these areas and own yourself and your emotions.

Prayer: Don't let failure frustrate you. Pray again for grace from God as you work through these difficult and confusing areas.

Safety - Day 10

Now let's look at emotional boundaries.

Our feelings are our own and we are responsible for them. Other people are not allowed to make us feel ways we shouldn't. We also aren't responsible for others feelings, but often we damage ourselves trying to be responsible for the happiness of others. If we try to make everyone happy then we can never move forward in transformation or anything else. In the end when we stand up and put our foot down, people may not like it, but they usually respect us in the end. Also, we are empowered and freed to movement in our lives.

How many times have you regretted not taking a stand where you knew you needed to? Many times we yield to someone else's will though we know that doing something different is the right thing. When we end up being part of the blame because we didn't do the right thing, we feel like we betrayed ourselves and we lose trust in our own decisions.

Where in your life do you allow people to effect your emotions or actions? Why is this? Is it because you respect the other person so much? Is it because you feel inferior to them? Is it because you want to avoid conflict? Really think about these things today. These are some of the most prevalent boundary violations in many people's lives and it often comes down to the strength of our identity.

Prayer: Pray that God would help you to be honest with yourself about the confronting the people and situations that effect your emotional boundaries.

Safety - Day 9

Revisit the physical boundaries that you processed yesterday and spend today thinking about where you need to put your boundaries to protect and free yourself. If you know that you are going to face a boundary soon, start with that one, especially if it is a small one. Maybe there is someone at work that you know you are going to have to deal with first thing in the morning. Starting with the small issues will help to build the confidence to deal with the larger issues.

Through out the week start expanding your physical boundaries to the larger issues. Some of them may take some forethought before you deal with them, so that you have realistic expectations, or are ready to deal with surprises that may present themselves.

Our physicality is our most obvious boundary, so it is good to start here as we begin to learn how to deal with boundaries, especially if we haven't really been good with this in the past.

Prayer: Pray that God with give you the strength and wisdom to place boundaries in areas where you have not had them.

Safety - Day 8

Spend today processing the physical boundaries that are currently being crossed in your life. You may not even know that boundaries are being crossed if you haven't learned too much about setting them. Even though you may feel the effects of them being crossed, sometimes we grow used to destructive forces and let them become a part of our lives and sometimes our foundations.

Our bodies are our own and are the first and most important boundary to protect. Think about people , things or situations that physically violate your space. Anything that happens to our bodies creating discomfort is probably crossing a boundary of some sort. The variety of these kinds of encroachments could span anything from, variations of physical abuse, to a crowding roommate, or a neighbor making too much noise at night, to a bad smell in your house.

Spend today identifying these crossed physical boundaries. Think of all parts of your life, large and small.

Prayer: Pray that God would help you to see where you need to learn to protect yourself.

Safety - Day 7

Last week we looked at negative presences in our lives and thought about how our lives would look replacing those with positives. This week we will learn a little about setting up boundaries to to help us interact between the two. Developing boundaries is essential to give ourselves a safe personal space to have movement, whether that movement is change, progress or just the freedom to be ourselves.

Can you think of places in your life where your boundaries, large or small were crossed? These could be small daily situations like someone talking our ear off and not respecting our time, or someone dictating to us how to raise our child, or dictating how we should function as an artist. On the opposite scale many of us have experienced physical, verbal or sexual abuse. How have these broken boundaries in your life effected you? How have they effected your beliefs, identity, attitude or abilities?

Prayer: Let God guide you in his grace to help you process potentially difficult memories in your life.

Safety - Day 6

Now that we have processed our negative presences and envisioned a healthy place, think about the good, strong or healthy things that you do have in your life. Can you spend more time on these things to help displace the negative? Are there relationships that you know are good, but have not made a priority for one reason or another? Are there places you have wanted to go or things you have wanted to do but have let other, less important ventures, obstruct you from what you know is best?

As we have mentioned before, it is often healthier to focus more on replacing negativity with something good than to only focus on stopping the negative issues.

Prayer: Pray that God would help you identify and embrace healthy things in your life.

Safety - Day 5

Try to picture your life without the negative presences that you identified yesterday. Really try to visualize what your life would look like if all of your relationships were safe and affirming. What if you had the time you needed to reflect on yourself, journal, pray, or be alone doing something you enjoy. What if you felt comfortable in your own head without thinking about things you regret or things that you fear or hate.

The point here is to try and give ourselves an image of the place where we need to be, in order to deal with change, so that we can strive to be in that place. If we don't know what it looks like, then it can be harder to get there.

Prayer: Pray that God helps you to visualize his next step for you.

Safety - Day 3

Sometimes just categorizing issues can help us process them in a different way and let us see more clearly the effects they have on our lives since different issues require different amounts of energy and time. As you have thought about areas of change, separate them into one of the following three categories to help you organize and prioritize your efforts.

Very difficult – Issues that are very severe such as things induced by traumatic events like abuse, or death.

Difficult – Issues which create significant stress in your life. These could be relational issues, job or financial problems for example.

Minor – Issues that are problematic or annoying but not very serious. These could be bad habits or everyday common obstacles. Minor issues can be deceptive as we can often ignore them or play them off as not serious enough to address, but they can add up to larger issues or become inflated in their difficulty when we have to deal with something far greater.

Prayer: Pray that God helps you to clearly see the effects of your issues on your life.

Safety - Day 2

As you thought about areas where you may need change yesterday, you may have been either excited or intimidated by tackling these issues. Often when we think about our progress, we hold to expectations that are too high which can create trepidation in our start or frustration in our failures along the way.

We will try to look at very realistic and practical ways to deal with change, so don't be worried. As we look at change, be realistic with yourself about what you need and where you will be. The more difficult issues are, the more time they take to work through, but every day offers the reward of improvement.

Look back at the issues you thought about yesterday and think about the grace you need to give yourself for each one as you move forward.

Prayer: Offer these issues to God and pray for his grace on them.

Safety - Day 1

We have heard many times that we can't save the world, but it may be more accurate to say that we can't save anyone. We can offer help, but it is up to each person to own their issues as much as they are capable. Unless we take responsibility for our own issues we will never experience transformation. Sometimes we are faced with change that we must face or ignore, but other times we need to seek out areas where change needs to occur.

Think about areas where you know change is needed in your life and what that change might look like. Also, think about issues that you have let live in your life without taking time to process them deeply enough to find where they begin.

To deal with deep change we must be very honest with ourselves about what needs work so that we can plan properly.

Prayer: Pray that God will help you own your issues and give you the strength to confront them.

Nourishment 10

When we talk about attitude we can talk about two things in general: How we feel emotionally and how we deal with things based on our outlook.

How we feel.
Although our feelings fluxuate often, if we seem to default to a certain unhealthy feeling which lasts for months or even years, we should probably address the matter. Feelings of inadequacy, insecurity, anger, depression, frustration, fear, confusion, dependency, lack of dependency, hopelessness, blame, and guilt are just a few unhealthy feelings that are common in many people's lives.

How we deal.
Our outlook alone can determine whether we are fulfilled in life or completely defeated. Although most people fall somewhere in between the two, most don't purposefully own their attitude in order to give themselves complete permission to make the most out of life. Some problematic habits such as future telling (Thinking you know what's really going to happen before it does), mind reading (Determining people's opinions without warrant), and black and white thinking, mixed with a glass half empty world few can wreak havoc on jobs, relationships and personal growth.

Search your feelings today and be encouraging but honest with yourself about where your attitude is. Right now we just want to identify the issues. Don't worry about tackling them yet, just think about how they effect your life.

Prayer: Pray that God would open your eyes to your attitude.

Nourishment 8

Today, think about the things that you believe in your life. What do you believe about politics, religion, human nature? What about yourself? What do you believe about your abilities, your intelligence, your personality, your social abilities, your limitations and strengths? What do you believe about the most important things happening in your life right now?

As you think about these things, follow them back as far as you can to the places where these beliefs were born. Were they from things people told you? Where they from the environment that you lived in? Were they things you just assumed about yourself? Question the sources that founded your beliefs. Test their motivations, reliability and legitimacy. When you can reprocess the beliefs that you have typically accepted without question, you will gain ownership over them and your confidence and identity will grow much more strong. You can speak with confidence as to why you hold the beliefs that govern your life.

Prayer: Pray that God would help you search through the murky waters of memory to help you reach the source of your beliefs as you try and process them.

Nourishment 7

This week we want to look at some core attibutes that define who we are. Most, if not all of our actions are a result of a predetermined factor or something we have learned. This week we want to start taking these things apart, see where they came from and test whether they match up with our life direction.

By now we have already experienced some amount of change in our lives and grown comfortable with some tools we have learned. We may already feel more confident in some areas where we didn't a couple months ago. This is a good time to look back over our purpose statement. At this point we can refresh ourselves on what we wrote in December, or we might want to edit it based on some areas we have recently grown.

Remember, this is your reference which we will continually use to measure your direction.

Prayer: Pray for wisdom and direction for your future.

Nourishment 6

Saturday
Look back on your log for the week. See what kinds of patterns you find in how you live. You might want to separate them into categories to see how much energy you give to certain things.

What did you learn about yourself? Are you encouraged by anything that you have learned? Do you see some areas where you can improve? Comparing your findings to your purpose statement. Do the findings look like you are on track and headed the right direction for yourself?

Prayer: Pray that God would show you the path you are on in your life compared to the path you want to be on.

Nourishment 4

Today consider your physical body. What trend would you say you are on with your health? How you take care of yourself today determines how well you function tomorrow.

Think about what kinds of food you eat and think about how well they are giving your body what it needs. How much do you exercise? Is it enough that you can feel a difference? When was the last time you got a physical check up or had a dentist appointment?

Prayer: Pray that you would pay attention to the value of your body as the vessel you have been given for your whole life.

Nourishment 3

Think about your finances. It's a really good idea to look at your bank account and add up what you spend your money on. Sometimes we spend way more than we expect on things that we might think are trivial or unimportant. Our money is often a sensitive conversation, but it's something that we as responsible stewards need to master in a healthy way.

What we buy isn't just a statement about us, it is important because we are financially supporting everything we buy whether we agree with it or not. If we are buying things that we don't believe in, then we are directly contributing to the building of a world that is contrary to our values.

Prayer: Pray that God will help you to be honest with yourself about your spending and give you wisdom in this sensitive area.