Foundations 11

Are there areas in your life you would like to explore but don't feel you have the ability? Sometimes we have strong feelings about things we feel need to be done, areas where we are especially called. We don't give ourselves permission to move to these places because we don't feel we are able. Maybe an education or lack of credentials make us feel discredited. Maybe, an endeavor seems like it would take way too much practice, or you feel that someone would look down on your failures as an amateur. Often, when we take a deep breath and start to pursue these things, we find that we are very rewarded even in the beginning stages of the process. Yes it might be difficult at times, but if we are truly called to these places we find that we have natural talents and our spirit is truly fulfilled in a new area as our identity is further defined.

Where in your life do you want to move forward but feel you just aren't able or qualified to? Be honest with yourself about how realistic it is. Get rid of all or nothing thinking about realize the value in the small steps.

Prayer: Pray that God would show you your true abilities and help you to develop them.

Foundations 10

Do you feel like you live life for yourself or other people? Are there things you feel you need to change about yourself before you can truly be who you are supposed to be? Are you easily influenced by people? Do you find that you are over sensitive to things that people say about you?

If you are an artists, do you feel that you have a clear direction for your art, or do you constantly explore the styles of others as you search for your own expression?

How comfortable do you feel when you are alone? Do you feel the constant need to fill in the space with sound or some sort of entertainment? Do you enjoy the time to think about things and refresh yourself with your thoughts?

Do you have hobbies, days off, time with close friends. Are those close friends people that you have chosen for yourself?

Having quiet time to ourselves, outings doing things we enjoy and journaling every day, are some things that help us get to know ourselves. How much we explore these times can quickly have a positive or negative effect on our identity.

Prayer: Ask God to create in you the person he has in mind for you to be.

Foundations 9

Our attitude is our view of the world and determines a lot about how we choose to interact with it. A bad attitude can effect our ability to interact with others, our permission to achieve, and our emotional dynamicism as well as many other important attributes of our lifes.

Relationships
How to you typically feel about other people? Are they approachable? Are they safe? Are you equal to them or do you see people as being on levels higher or lower than you? Are people full of interesting gifts and ideas to explore or are they challenging and obstructive? Do you tend to avoid strangers or embrace them?

Life
What do you think about life in general? Is life a place where you spend time treading water until you have vacations or weekends? Do you expect life to be easy but it keeps throwing hard things at you? Is life a place where you have to constantly guard yourself from problems and difficulties? Do you feel that you have freedom to be yourself and do things you really feel called to?

Self
How do you view yourself? Do you feel that you are a good person? Do you feel that people value you, your personality and your abilities? Are there things you feel you need to change before you can truly feel good about yourself?

As you think about these answers, think about how much sense they really make. Where did you get these ideas and are the "rules" actual rules, or just things you believe to be true for no apparent reason.

Now think about the attitude you want to have and re-write these rules and beliefs.

Prayer: Pray that God would show you his vision for your attitude.

Foundations 8

Once we decide that we want to change and turn the direction of our life, we need to adjust our focus. In the same way where we look when we walk determines the destination of our travel, where we look in our life determines the direction of our future.

In our quest to be better people, we often seek out our problems and try to change our behaviour by simply not doing the thing that we feel is wrong. We then feel frustrated and defeated when we find that we can't change the issues. There seems to be a constant force pushing our bad habits, feelings, or actions. This is because we are putting our focus on the problem or symptom. Instead we should follow the problems to their source and see where they originate; usually at a foundation. Moving our focus towards building that foundation takes the focus off the failure of trying to change behaviour that we are incapable of changing. As we become more healthy in our foundation, the symptoms then become unecessary in a natural and healthy way, creating a sense of strength and control in us rather than futility.

Today, think about your focus in life in regards to what we just discussed.

Prayer: Ask God to look with you into your life and continually help direct your focus where it should be.

Foundations 7

Before change can happen, we must realize that it needs to. Often we are very content with the situation we are living in without questioning how we got there or if it's how we want to live even though we may have learned bad behaviour through one of many avenues in the course of our lives.

Of course we shouldn't live in a constant state of discontent because of how our lives "should be", but we should always challenge ourselves and check our direction. Not taking control of our direction can result in being influenced by many factors which will effect our foundations, and there are infinite such factors. Commercials will tell us what we need in order to be happy, people will tell us who we are, or who we are supposed to be, traumatic situations will create fear within us, and authorities will create our rules and beliefs.

Many of these factors have already defined parts of our foundations. It's up to us to decide if we choose to live with them or take steps to define ourselves. This is what we mean when we talk about repentance: turning from our old lives and claiming victory and ownership over them on a path of growth. It's hard, it means change, it means facing difficult memories, it means not living comfortably.

Think about your view of life today. Are you too content? What is your tolerance for change before you want to escape back to the safety of your routine? Does this inhibit growth for you? How many difficult situations in relationships or your past do you just ignore because it's more comfortable that way?

Prayer: Pray that God would expose the true state of your heart when it comes to repentance.

Foundations 6

Yesterday we talked about how important relationships are as we deal with the difficulties in our lives. Before that we talked about how our guilt and shame effect our relationships with ourselves. So now is a good time to talk about how these things effect our relationships with others.

When we thought about how close and trusting our relationships are, did you question why there is distance between certain relationships you have compared to others? Think about that distance and see if any of that is attributed to guilt or shame. They may be hidden under words like "private" or "guarded" or "safe". Sometimes when people don't accept us we can feel a type of shame where we feel less valued, as if there is something wrong with us. Certainly we need to protect ourselves from people that are distructive to us, but there shouldn't be much keeping us from continually getting closer to good people.

Remember conviction and confession draw people closer, guilt and shame pull people farther apart.

Prayer: Pray that God would show you the true nature of your relationships, whether they're affirming healthy practices or illuminating the unhealthy.

Foundations 5

Once you know the areas where you need to work, it is hard or impossible to just think or act better. You need to replace those thoughts and actions with healthier thoughts and actions.

This is where community comes in. We need other positive and trustworthy people in our lives to affirm and relate to us. We are designed to need this. We need other voices that we can confess to, voices that can relate and help us work things out. We need voices more powerful than our inner voice so that we can deal with issues in a sober and realistic manner, rather than just our own one sided view points.

Think about your peers and community. Are there people that you trust and respect? Are there people that care about you and know you well? If not, why is this and what can you do to create these kinds of relationships? If there are these kinds of people in your life, are you talking to them about your issues and are they talking to you about theirs? If not why? This is an essential part of how God made us and is necessary for our individual and communal health.

Prayer: Pray that God would illuminate the reality of your relationships and challenge you to make them deeper.

Foundations 4

As we are focusing on guilt and shame versus confession and godly sorrow, think about things that have made you feel guilty or shameful. Have you broken a law or hurt someone else physically or emotionally? Has something happened to you that creates shame or guilt, whether it was within your control or not? Was there ever something you should have done where you stood bye without action creating consequence? Are you not living up to an ideal that you expect for yourself? Are there things you constantly do that you know are wrong?

We must identify these things so that we can confront and work them out. If we don't, they stay in us and create disorder and conflict. If we let these things stay too long then we create unhealthy habits to deal with, or hide from the issues. Once we have these habits for too long they start to effect our foundations, they might hinder our abilities or create a sour attitude, our beliefs can suffer and turn negative and our identify can become confused.

Identify these things so that you can address them.

Foundations 3

Looking back on yesterday, did you notice that your inner voice seemed to be more critical of certain areas in your life, or favoring others? When we are weak in certain foundations, this will effect other foundations as well, creating an imbalance in our lives.

It is good to make a habit of checking the tone that you have with yourself in reference to the different foundations in your life as this can help indicate source problems or strengths.

Prayer: Pray that God would help illuminate imbalance in your life.

Foundations 2

Yesterday we spent time trying to identify our inner voice. Today, now that we are listening, we want to focus on its messages.

Listen to your inner voice throughout the day and see if you can get some insight as to what it says about your identity, attitude, abilities and beliefs. Is it glowingly encouraging? Generally constructive? Discouraging? Abusive? If it was a friend would it be a good friend? How does it speak to you through difficult issues?

Prayer: Pray that God would make you more aware of your relationship with yourself.

Foundations 1

We often hear about our inner critic when we talk about negative things we believe and feel about ourselves. There are many ways to deal with the inner critic such as: learning positive tools to combat the inner critic, or journaling to realize and process subconscious ideas consciously.

Today we want to look broader than just the inner critic. Think about your inner voice as a whole, not just the negative thoughts but all of the thoughts. What is that voice? Does is have a specific sound? Is it a person in your life? What kind of language does it use? What kind of tone does it use with you? What is it's personality?

You should get to know the inner voice well, as it speaks from the source of your identity and beliefs. How it speaks to you effects your attitude and abilities. Many people are afraid of their inner voice and keep life busy and noisy so they don't have to hear it. Others cherish the time they have alone with themselves to remember who they are and enjoy their own self.

Prayer: Pray that God helps you to know yourself intimately.

Nourishment 12

Reflect on your week and revisit the things that were most profound to you. In silent meditation, offer these thoughts to God in an act of confession of the things that are happening in your life, your heart and your mind.

These attributes are important to our direction, which we will talk more about next week, so the more we process the importance of them in our lives, the better we will be able to work with them as we go forward.

Prayer: As you confess to God, let him guide you in your thought and search you for insights that he may want you to process from the week.

Nourishment 11

People with strong identities know what they want and need, and find it easy to make boundaries for themselves. They can govern what is good for them by themselves without being swayed by media, sales people, or persuasive individuals in their environment. This comes from knowing their values and knowing themselves. These individuals usually see people as being equal in value, allowing them to be confident in most any relational situation.

People with especially week identities look for their identity or happiness in other people or circumstances. It's easy for these people to join causes or strive for important jobs, nice cars or impressive college degrees in an effort to feel like they have a strong identity and purpose. Others let people determine their moods, action and even their personality traits, resulting in an emotionally volatile life. They might apologize too much for fear of offending others, or distance themselves with arrogance in an effort to protect themselves. They may be super sensitive to other's reactions. These individuals often see people on different levels of value, creating tension between those “above and below” them.

Identity isn't created, it grows in us over time as we nurture ourselves. We need to spend time learning who we are and protecting ourselves as we discover our values.

Prayer: Pray that God would help you discover who you are and who he created you to be.

Nourishment 10

When we talk about attitude we can talk about two things in general: How we feel emotionally and how we deal with things based on our outlook.

How we feel.
Although our feelings fluxuate often, if we seem to default to a certain unhealthy feeling which lasts for months or even years, we should probably address the matter. Feelings of inadequacy, insecurity, anger, depression, frustration, fear, confusion, dependency, lack of dependency, hopelessness, blame, and guilt are just a few unhealthy feelings that are common in many people's lives.

How we deal.
Our outlook alone can determine whether we are fulfilled in life or completely defeated. Although most people fall somewhere in between the two, most don't purposefully own their attitude in order to give themselves complete permission to make the most out of life. Some problematic habits such as future telling (Thinking you know what's really going to happen before it does), mind reading (Determining people's opinions without warrant), and black and white thinking, mixed with a glass half empty world few can wreak havoc on jobs, relationships and personal growth.

Search your feelings today and be encouraging but honest with yourself about where your attitude is. Right now we just want to identify the issues. Don't worry about tackling them yet, just think about how they effect your life.

Prayer: Pray that God would open your eyes to your attitude.

Nourishment 9

We often overlook many of our abilities as they seem natural to us or we have lived with them for so long that we under rate them. Think about all of the things you possess talent wise, personality wise, financially, physically and materialistically. Look back at the accomplishments you have achieved through your life and track the areas where you have grown more able. It's also wise to ask people close to you to talk to you about your talents. This exercise is usually surprising and almost always very encouraging.

Now think about where you feel you should be more confident. We all have places we want to go or things that we want to do but can't because of our inabilities. Where do you find you are hesitant or even fearful to move in a direction?

Remember, fear begets more fear within us, but reclaiming areas of our life give us the confidence to reclaim other areas as well.

Prayer: Pray that God would solidify confidence in your current abilities and help empower you to grow in others where you are weak.

Nourishment 8

Today, think about the things that you believe in your life. What do you believe about politics, religion, human nature? What about yourself? What do you believe about your abilities, your intelligence, your personality, your social abilities, your limitations and strengths? What do you believe about the most important things happening in your life right now?

As you think about these things, follow them back as far as you can to the places where these beliefs were born. Were they from things people told you? Where they from the environment that you lived in? Were they things you just assumed about yourself? Question the sources that founded your beliefs. Test their motivations, reliability and legitimacy. When you can reprocess the beliefs that you have typically accepted without question, you will gain ownership over them and your confidence and identity will grow much more strong. You can speak with confidence as to why you hold the beliefs that govern your life.

Prayer: Pray that God would help you search through the murky waters of memory to help you reach the source of your beliefs as you try and process them.

Nourishment 7

This week we want to look at some core attibutes that define who we are. Most, if not all of our actions are a result of a predetermined factor or something we have learned. This week we want to start taking these things apart, see where they came from and test whether they match up with our life direction.

By now we have already experienced some amount of change in our lives and grown comfortable with some tools we have learned. We may already feel more confident in some areas where we didn't a couple months ago. This is a good time to look back over our purpose statement. At this point we can refresh ourselves on what we wrote in December, or we might want to edit it based on some areas we have recently grown.

Remember, this is your reference which we will continually use to measure your direction.

Prayer: Pray for wisdom and direction for your future.

Nourishment 6

Saturday
Look back on your log for the week. See what kinds of patterns you find in how you live. You might want to separate them into categories to see how much energy you give to certain things.

What did you learn about yourself? Are you encouraged by anything that you have learned? Do you see some areas where you can improve? Comparing your findings to your purpose statement. Do the findings look like you are on track and headed the right direction for yourself?

Prayer: Pray that God would show you the path you are on in your life compared to the path you want to be on.

Nourishment 5

Friday
We don't often think of our mental health when we take inventory of our lives. Emotional or mental issues are often very hard to discern since we usually think “that's just how I am.” Having counseling checkups can be very helpful especially in difficult times. Just like we all catch colds, we all get off track sometimes of where we should be with our emotional health.

Do you have a good resource to keep you accountable for your mental health? Do you give yourself personal time to evaluate how you are feeling and what you are experiencing emotionally? Are there times you have ever thought “Maybe I am depressed.” or “I might have an issue with anger/communication skills/intimacy etc...”.

Prayer: Pray that God would always help you to discern you mind, heart and spirit.

Nourishment 4

Today consider your physical body. What trend would you say you are on with your health? How you take care of yourself today determines how well you function tomorrow.

Think about what kinds of food you eat and think about how well they are giving your body what it needs. How much do you exercise? Is it enough that you can feel a difference? When was the last time you got a physical check up or had a dentist appointment?

Prayer: Pray that you would pay attention to the value of your body as the vessel you have been given for your whole life.