Take today to reflect on the the week, or maybe the month, and see how your mind may have changed and grown from the beginning to now. Maybe skimming over the blogs will help you remember your journey.
Go over the change you have experienced and revisit and process the time. See if something else stands out to you this time. If you have experienced change, think about how much transformation you will experience in the future as you work on these issues. Sometimes taking some time and looking back on your growth can be an enormous encourager.
Prayer: Take this day to thank God for the work he is doing in you and the work he has planned for your future.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Safety - Day 11
Considering your thoughts from yesterday, let's start planning and placing emotional boundaries.
As we did with physical boundaries, look for the smallest and most impending emotional boundaries that you need to protect. Start easy and with situations that will be relevant soon, then use that momentum to start setting larger boundaries as you are ready.
While you are processing these things, think of your emotions as if you were given responsibility over them from your future self who is depending on you for their protection. In reality that future self is relying on you to protect them and make them a healthy, able person. You have a responsibility to work on these areas and own yourself and your emotions.
Prayer: Don't let failure frustrate you. Pray again for grace from God as you work through these difficult and confusing areas.
As we did with physical boundaries, look for the smallest and most impending emotional boundaries that you need to protect. Start easy and with situations that will be relevant soon, then use that momentum to start setting larger boundaries as you are ready.
While you are processing these things, think of your emotions as if you were given responsibility over them from your future self who is depending on you for their protection. In reality that future self is relying on you to protect them and make them a healthy, able person. You have a responsibility to work on these areas and own yourself and your emotions.
Prayer: Don't let failure frustrate you. Pray again for grace from God as you work through these difficult and confusing areas.
Safety - Day 10
Now let's look at emotional boundaries.
Our feelings are our own and we are responsible for them. Other people are not allowed to make us feel ways we shouldn't. We also aren't responsible for others feelings, but often we damage ourselves trying to be responsible for the happiness of others. If we try to make everyone happy then we can never move forward in transformation or anything else. In the end when we stand up and put our foot down, people may not like it, but they usually respect us in the end. Also, we are empowered and freed to movement in our lives.
How many times have you regretted not taking a stand where you knew you needed to? Many times we yield to someone else's will though we know that doing something different is the right thing. When we end up being part of the blame because we didn't do the right thing, we feel like we betrayed ourselves and we lose trust in our own decisions.
Where in your life do you allow people to effect your emotions or actions? Why is this? Is it because you respect the other person so much? Is it because you feel inferior to them? Is it because you want to avoid conflict? Really think about these things today. These are some of the most prevalent boundary violations in many people's lives and it often comes down to the strength of our identity.
Prayer: Pray that God would help you to be honest with yourself about the confronting the people and situations that effect your emotional boundaries.
Our feelings are our own and we are responsible for them. Other people are not allowed to make us feel ways we shouldn't. We also aren't responsible for others feelings, but often we damage ourselves trying to be responsible for the happiness of others. If we try to make everyone happy then we can never move forward in transformation or anything else. In the end when we stand up and put our foot down, people may not like it, but they usually respect us in the end. Also, we are empowered and freed to movement in our lives.
How many times have you regretted not taking a stand where you knew you needed to? Many times we yield to someone else's will though we know that doing something different is the right thing. When we end up being part of the blame because we didn't do the right thing, we feel like we betrayed ourselves and we lose trust in our own decisions.
Where in your life do you allow people to effect your emotions or actions? Why is this? Is it because you respect the other person so much? Is it because you feel inferior to them? Is it because you want to avoid conflict? Really think about these things today. These are some of the most prevalent boundary violations in many people's lives and it often comes down to the strength of our identity.
Prayer: Pray that God would help you to be honest with yourself about the confronting the people and situations that effect your emotional boundaries.
Safety - Day 9
Revisit the physical boundaries that you processed yesterday and spend today thinking about where you need to put your boundaries to protect and free yourself. If you know that you are going to face a boundary soon, start with that one, especially if it is a small one. Maybe there is someone at work that you know you are going to have to deal with first thing in the morning. Starting with the small issues will help to build the confidence to deal with the larger issues.
Through out the week start expanding your physical boundaries to the larger issues. Some of them may take some forethought before you deal with them, so that you have realistic expectations, or are ready to deal with surprises that may present themselves.
Our physicality is our most obvious boundary, so it is good to start here as we begin to learn how to deal with boundaries, especially if we haven't really been good with this in the past.
Prayer: Pray that God with give you the strength and wisdom to place boundaries in areas where you have not had them.
Through out the week start expanding your physical boundaries to the larger issues. Some of them may take some forethought before you deal with them, so that you have realistic expectations, or are ready to deal with surprises that may present themselves.
Our physicality is our most obvious boundary, so it is good to start here as we begin to learn how to deal with boundaries, especially if we haven't really been good with this in the past.
Prayer: Pray that God with give you the strength and wisdom to place boundaries in areas where you have not had them.
Safety - Day 8
Spend today processing the physical boundaries that are currently being crossed in your life. You may not even know that boundaries are being crossed if you haven't learned too much about setting them. Even though you may feel the effects of them being crossed, sometimes we grow used to destructive forces and let them become a part of our lives and sometimes our foundations.
Our bodies are our own and are the first and most important boundary to protect. Think about people , things or situations that physically violate your space. Anything that happens to our bodies creating discomfort is probably crossing a boundary of some sort. The variety of these kinds of encroachments could span anything from, variations of physical abuse, to a crowding roommate, or a neighbor making too much noise at night, to a bad smell in your house.
Spend today identifying these crossed physical boundaries. Think of all parts of your life, large and small.
Prayer: Pray that God would help you to see where you need to learn to protect yourself.
Our bodies are our own and are the first and most important boundary to protect. Think about people , things or situations that physically violate your space. Anything that happens to our bodies creating discomfort is probably crossing a boundary of some sort. The variety of these kinds of encroachments could span anything from, variations of physical abuse, to a crowding roommate, or a neighbor making too much noise at night, to a bad smell in your house.
Spend today identifying these crossed physical boundaries. Think of all parts of your life, large and small.
Prayer: Pray that God would help you to see where you need to learn to protect yourself.
Safety - Day 7
Last week we looked at negative presences in our lives and thought about how our lives would look replacing those with positives. This week we will learn a little about setting up boundaries to to help us interact between the two. Developing boundaries is essential to give ourselves a safe personal space to have movement, whether that movement is change, progress or just the freedom to be ourselves.
Can you think of places in your life where your boundaries, large or small were crossed? These could be small daily situations like someone talking our ear off and not respecting our time, or someone dictating to us how to raise our child, or dictating how we should function as an artist. On the opposite scale many of us have experienced physical, verbal or sexual abuse. How have these broken boundaries in your life effected you? How have they effected your beliefs, identity, attitude or abilities?
Prayer: Let God guide you in his grace to help you process potentially difficult memories in your life.
Can you think of places in your life where your boundaries, large or small were crossed? These could be small daily situations like someone talking our ear off and not respecting our time, or someone dictating to us how to raise our child, or dictating how we should function as an artist. On the opposite scale many of us have experienced physical, verbal or sexual abuse. How have these broken boundaries in your life effected you? How have they effected your beliefs, identity, attitude or abilities?
Prayer: Let God guide you in his grace to help you process potentially difficult memories in your life.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Safety - Day 6
Now that we have processed our negative presences and envisioned a healthy place, think about the good, strong or healthy things that you do have in your life. Can you spend more time on these things to help displace the negative? Are there relationships that you know are good, but have not made a priority for one reason or another? Are there places you have wanted to go or things you have wanted to do but have let other, less important ventures, obstruct you from what you know is best?
As we have mentioned before, it is often healthier to focus more on replacing negativity with something good than to only focus on stopping the negative issues.
Prayer: Pray that God would help you identify and embrace healthy things in your life.
As we have mentioned before, it is often healthier to focus more on replacing negativity with something good than to only focus on stopping the negative issues.
Prayer: Pray that God would help you identify and embrace healthy things in your life.
Safety - Day 5
Try to picture your life without the negative presences that you identified yesterday. Really try to visualize what your life would look like if all of your relationships were safe and affirming. What if you had the time you needed to reflect on yourself, journal, pray, or be alone doing something you enjoy. What if you felt comfortable in your own head without thinking about things you regret or things that you fear or hate.
The point here is to try and give ourselves an image of the place where we need to be, in order to deal with change, so that we can strive to be in that place. If we don't know what it looks like, then it can be harder to get there.
Prayer: Pray that God helps you to visualize his next step for you.
The point here is to try and give ourselves an image of the place where we need to be, in order to deal with change, so that we can strive to be in that place. If we don't know what it looks like, then it can be harder to get there.
Prayer: Pray that God helps you to visualize his next step for you.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Safety - Day 4
Today, identify unsafe or destructive presences that effect your area or areas of change. They may contribute directly as an obstacle, or simply create an environment where change is unsafe. Look first at the presences that may effect you physically or environmentally, then look at the presences that effect you emotionally.
These presences can be relationships, habits, jobs, beliefs, wall color, dirty rooms, influential messages, stressful pets, or even time drainers like tv, hobbies, or community involvement. Sometimes you can feel where these things effect you before you can actually know what they are. They might even be good things that need to take a back seat to other areas where you need to build or heal. Remember that you have much more to offer when you are a whole, healthy person than when you are struggling or hurt.
Prayer: Pray that God would help you look in the tiny areas of your life and thank him that he cares even for things we consider trivial.
These presences can be relationships, habits, jobs, beliefs, wall color, dirty rooms, influential messages, stressful pets, or even time drainers like tv, hobbies, or community involvement. Sometimes you can feel where these things effect you before you can actually know what they are. They might even be good things that need to take a back seat to other areas where you need to build or heal. Remember that you have much more to offer when you are a whole, healthy person than when you are struggling or hurt.
Prayer: Pray that God would help you look in the tiny areas of your life and thank him that he cares even for things we consider trivial.
Safety - Day 3
Sometimes just categorizing issues can help us process them in a different way and let us see more clearly the effects they have on our lives since different issues require different amounts of energy and time. As you have thought about areas of change, separate them into one of the following three categories to help you organize and prioritize your efforts.
Very difficult – Issues that are very severe such as things induced by traumatic events like abuse, or death.
Difficult – Issues which create significant stress in your life. These could be relational issues, job or financial problems for example.
Minor – Issues that are problematic or annoying but not very serious. These could be bad habits or everyday common obstacles. Minor issues can be deceptive as we can often ignore them or play them off as not serious enough to address, but they can add up to larger issues or become inflated in their difficulty when we have to deal with something far greater.
Prayer: Pray that God helps you to clearly see the effects of your issues on your life.
Very difficult – Issues that are very severe such as things induced by traumatic events like abuse, or death.
Difficult – Issues which create significant stress in your life. These could be relational issues, job or financial problems for example.
Minor – Issues that are problematic or annoying but not very serious. These could be bad habits or everyday common obstacles. Minor issues can be deceptive as we can often ignore them or play them off as not serious enough to address, but they can add up to larger issues or become inflated in their difficulty when we have to deal with something far greater.
Prayer: Pray that God helps you to clearly see the effects of your issues on your life.
Safety - Day 2
As you thought about areas where you may need change yesterday, you may have been either excited or intimidated by tackling these issues. Often when we think about our progress, we hold to expectations that are too high which can create trepidation in our start or frustration in our failures along the way.
We will try to look at very realistic and practical ways to deal with change, so don't be worried. As we look at change, be realistic with yourself about what you need and where you will be. The more difficult issues are, the more time they take to work through, but every day offers the reward of improvement.
Look back at the issues you thought about yesterday and think about the grace you need to give yourself for each one as you move forward.
Prayer: Offer these issues to God and pray for his grace on them.
We will try to look at very realistic and practical ways to deal with change, so don't be worried. As we look at change, be realistic with yourself about what you need and where you will be. The more difficult issues are, the more time they take to work through, but every day offers the reward of improvement.
Look back at the issues you thought about yesterday and think about the grace you need to give yourself for each one as you move forward.
Prayer: Offer these issues to God and pray for his grace on them.
Safety - Day 1
We have heard many times that we can't save the world, but it may be more accurate to say that we can't save anyone. We can offer help, but it is up to each person to own their issues as much as they are capable. Unless we take responsibility for our own issues we will never experience transformation. Sometimes we are faced with change that we must face or ignore, but other times we need to seek out areas where change needs to occur.
Think about areas where you know change is needed in your life and what that change might look like. Also, think about issues that you have let live in your life without taking time to process them deeply enough to find where they begin.
To deal with deep change we must be very honest with ourselves about what needs work so that we can plan properly.
Prayer: Pray that God will help you own your issues and give you the strength to confront them.
Think about areas where you know change is needed in your life and what that change might look like. Also, think about issues that you have let live in your life without taking time to process them deeply enough to find where they begin.
To deal with deep change we must be very honest with ourselves about what needs work so that we can plan properly.
Prayer: Pray that God will help you own your issues and give you the strength to confront them.
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