As we have probably seen so far this week, often our issues with other people are made more difficult by our view of ourselves and misunderstandings. By repairing relationships we can usually make them stronger than they were before. This exercise is an example of redemption.
Have you noticed some areas where you might need to adjust your boundaries or view of self in order to better facilitate a redemptive attitude in your relationships?
Prayer: Again, ask God for help with discernment as sometimes it is difficult to see truths about ourselves.
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4 comments:
Thanks for keeping the blog going. I have been lurking and reading daily. I think that one root cause (among many) for a lack of gratitude is a focus inward on self rather than outward on others, God, a cause, an objective. Gratitude is enhanced by giving away self, even a little bit.
What do you think.
I agree. I love this idea of seeing repaired relationships with one another as redemption. Because as "Anonymous" says, focusing inward on self is like a trap. It is amazing how much more room there is for gratitude when I am honest about what is happening (i.e. I didn't get what I want, my feelings are hurt, etc.), see the bigger picture (i.e. what is going on in the other person's life, what God wants, all that I have to be grateful for, what is really true about myself, etc.)
I agree. I love this idea of seeing repaired relationships with one another as redemption. Because as "Anonymous" says, focusing inward on self is like a trap. It is amazing how much more room there is for gratitude when I am honest about what is happening (i.e. I didn't get what I want, my feelings are hurt, etc.), see the bigger picture (i.e. what is going on in the other person's life, what God wants, all that I have to be grateful for, what is really true about myself, etc.)
Recently my Mother-N-Law came for a visit. She commented on a new little figurine I had bought and said maybe she would start buying them for me so I could have a collection. I was embarrassed to tell her how much I had paid. She went on and on randomly throughout the day saying things like "I can't believe you spent that much on such a tiny thing!" "How much was that little thing again?" Now, I never really EVER buy myself anything and it was a pretty big deal to me to have bought this stupid little thing and try to coerce myself not to feel guilty. And my Mother-N-Law buys pretty much what she wants when she wants it without thinking twice. So having her go on and on so really made me feel bad. Normally I would have kept my thoughts to myself and been miserable, but instead opted to confront her on it. I was shocked by her response. She apologized and said she "has always had issues with people misunderstanding her/taking her the wrong way." She said she thinks it is because she is "abrupt." She said that she kept bringing it up because she truly could not believe I had spent so much because she knows how thrifty I am and that she was actually PROUD of me and that I should do so MORE OFTEN! This is an example of a simple miscommunication. Another example:
My friend painted her moms basement for her while she was out of town. Her mom comes home and my friend shows her the surprise paint job but apologizes stating she could "only do one coat." Her mom simply said, "only one" and then retreated quickly to bed. My friend harbored resentment at having worked so hard only to have her mom be mad she only did one coat. I heard about it at least once a week via phone. Finally one day at her moms house my friends husband brought it up. Her mom was shocked. She said "didn't you know I had been sick on my trip and felt terrible? All I wanted to do at that point in time was sleep! I said only one coat because I thought it looked great! I could not tell it was only one. That is why I never brought it up again. I thanked you later when I felt better. (To which I remember my friend saying she thought her mom did only because she wanted that SECOND coat!) It is so funny to me how simple it is for two people to totally misunderstand one another. I have learned that no matter how uncomfortable it may be. Given situations where there is an issue you MUST confront either the person or the issue if it is ever to be addressed.
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